It seems I’ve decided not to retire yet… After all, I’m still young. But the question remains: What am I going to do with myself?

I never thought I would ever want to do something else but fly a space ship. Be one with it. Have its alloy skin as my own, unimaginable freedom and violence only a thougt away…
Expect the unexpected, they say…

Now, over two years later, there are days when I feel physically repulsed by the mere thought of entering my capsule. Days when I feel I should just liquidate my assets, buy a moon somewhere out of the way, and enjoy the rest of my days (and I can expect many of those) in comfortable wealth. To put it modestly. I’ve done more, seen more, and made more money than any member of my family has ever dreamed of.

So why don’t I just turn my capsule into a chandelier and call it quits? I don’t know. But I feel I’m moving towards discovering the answer…

Oh, it was all right in the beginning, if you can call an operation to bust Band of Brothers’ starbases in our space (well, officially, one of our holders’ space) ‘all right’… There was some confusion, I had no orders, and when they came, they were a bit too late. The fleet commander was a bit too jittery… No, let’s be honest, he was annoying the carrot out of me with his fluttering. But anyway. Dream in the Shadows (I’m using Cheetahs for this kind of work now) and I eventually got where we were supposed to be, and I was ready to work my magic.

For a while, it was business as usual. Moving around, unseen, looking for opportunities to provide warp-in points for the people with guns, flitting around from wreck to wreck trying to get into a good position. For a while. As the number of wrecks rose, and the drones left behind by destroyed ship obscured the intact ones, my confusion increased. I couldn’t tell friend from foe or a battleship from an interdictor. At one point, I wasn’t even sure where I was headed and why, and I couldn’t even control my ship.

I used the lull in the battle to get away. Not the most heroic thing to do, but considering that just the idea of getting back into a pod makes me sick almost two days after…

To repeat the previous conclusion, Vagabonds. Ishtars, too, now that I’m certified to fly them, and I like drones. I could try Deimoses, too, but I can’t use tech 2 hybrid guns yet. See where I’m going with this? Small fleets. Raiding.

No big fleets. Bad for health. And I’m not talking about clone activations.

Four days later, I went and did almost the exact same thing the Einherjar guy did. Almost, I say, because I was in a Sabre, faster than my target, I had a webifier, and my reinforcements actually were just around the corner. I still lost the ship (I blame the drones), but it was a calculated sacrifice made to insure that my target wouldn’t escape. And it didn’t, the Vagabond’s wreck joined my Sabre’s seconds later, so I’ll call it a resonable exchange.

The morals? Don’t try to solo Vagabonds in interdictors. If you really want to run, don’t wait till your armour has been penetrated to start. And finally, fly Vagabonds more often.

Now, I need 50 hours and 70 million ISK for each cruiser and ~38 hours and 40 million for every destroyer invention job. A bit of multiplying reveals I’ll need over 1300 lab hours and almost 1.8 billion just to run the invention jobs.

For the rotten carrot’s sake.

Over a half of them will probably yield no results. And I’ll still need to buy the materials needed to build the ships.

No wonder I’m chronically short on cash these days…

I have been a party in destruction of four (4) ships while flying a Helios. Which, as we all know, is a covert operations frigate whose offensive capacity consists of a single light drone. And the way I equip it, a short-ranged warp scrambler. A ship which is supposed to stay invisible as much as possible.

Now, four kills might not sound like a lot, but let’s put it into perspective. I got more kills in this ships which barely deserves to be called armed than in killing machines such as Armageddon (three), my beloved but very rarely used Dominix (three), or Harbinger (one). Makes me wonder…

And what ships seem to be my favourite tools of destruction? Quite expectedly, the list is topped by the Curse (20, mostly by the Tangled Sheen and the much-mourned Black Moon) and the Myrmidon (12). Unexpected are the next two ship classes – Crow and Malediction (10 each).

So what have I concluded from this self-analysis? I need to fly my Vagabonds more. They’re down there near the bottom of the list, too.

Fleet command. Did it once before, and once again recently. Seems to be a big issue in the alliance now – we’ve grown, and the fleet commanders got diluted in the process. We need more of them, and some discussions on other channels got me thinking… So, how does one, according to me, go about being a fleet commander?

First, you should at least have a basic idea of what you want to do with the fleet, and how you should do it. It doesn’t need to be more than a basic idea, and if you’ve spent some time participating as a fleet member and observing what the people in charge were doing, you should have more than that already.

Second, you have to be prepared to spend an hour or two assembling the fleet. I didn’t notice that people were more reluctant to join my gang because I’m an FC rookie – they were joining, and many of them were much, much more qualified for the job than I was. It took time, but that’s just the way it is. This isn’t as bad as it sounds, since it gives you the time to organise wings and squads, shuffle people, get some scouting done, and do more thinking/discussing on the whats and the hows. Just starting the thing is a big step forward, as people seem to be more inclined to follow than to lead.

Third, delegate. You don’t have to do everything, and you shouldn’t even try. If you have someone in your fleet who can do things better than you, assign them to do it. It also helps if you don’t get involved into mundane tasks such as actually shooting things – leading from the rear is a time-honoured tradition, and a covert cloaking device makes it much easier.

Fourth, be decisive. Even if you’re not sure what you’re supposed to be doing, decisively ask for advice. If that doesn’t work, decisively find someone more qualified to take the lead and step down. But be decisive!

Fifth, don’t be afraid of screwing up. It happens to everyone occasionally. If you can’t get over this fear, admit to yourself and everyone else that you’re not meant for the job, and be content to follow someone else – followers are needed just as much as leaders, and you might actually do a better job as one. Alternatively, you can go mine veldspar in Bhizheba or Arbaz. It takes a lot of tritanium to replace the ships some FC with less skill but more initiative got blown up.

And finally, keep in mind that you’re the boss. If you’ve done everything listed above, it’s your sacred right to demand that people follow you, and it is their sacred duty to follow. Don’t let anyone give you shit – if you do, it’s your own fault.